WHY I HATE MARTHA STEWART
By Lori Bomes
Martha has created a generation or two of women who want to be like her in how they think, act and what they do. At the same time, she has reinforced unrealistic expectations for many men in those same generations who think that their significant others should follow her suite. All of these are insane ex-pectations of perfection.
There are a few things in life that approach per-fection, which are:
- Your GOD
- High Tide and Low Tide
- Sunrise and Sunset
- Birth and Death
- Four Seasons
Yet, with all of these symbols of perfection there are huge variances. So, all the intricacies and details simultaneously work to unrealistic perfection regarding such practices of how a table is set; what fork to use; what flowers look best (according to the holiday or season) on which hand-embroidered tablecloth in the dining room of the perfect house with magnificent décor that smells of both citrus and bleach as the pies cool on the window sill and the roast cooks in the oven with fingerling potatoes covered with fresh tarragon butter to be united with puffy popovers placed on the counter awaiting their perfect place in the breadbasket.
Some women strive for the impossible because they fail to recognize all that goes into creating this image of perfection that is unrealistic in most women’s lives. Unless we have sous- chef’s to help prepare everything from beginning to end as they peel, scrub, beautify the environment and on and on, a cast of supporting members of the team would include: domestic help (to clean, polish, scrub, and run errands); the gourmet grocer to deliver the freshest and the finest; the gardener to prepare the grounds (and depending upon the season – add outdoor decorations); the musicians to select and play the perfect music to create outstanding ambiance; the electrician to install dimmer switches for the soft pink lighting so that everyone looks healthy; and lastly, the event planner to make sure that everything is executed with complete mastery. It takes an army to create this type of perfection—yet – some women are held to this unrealistic level of perfection (or at least pressured to believe this is the way it SHOULD be).
Martha’s image of homemaking, holiday events, and décor are driving people crazy—including the women who WANT to do it Martha’s way (and those who don’t!) and the men that EXPECT (and some demand) it that way.
Martha’s way is both compulsive and neurotic; and yet, she is a role model. Martha is out of touch with most women’s lives. Those that ASPIRE to follow her form of perfection and those individuals that EXPECT it - are also delusional.
How did this series of neurotic behaviors become the “gold standard” for entertaining, and for living? The pressure is both excessive and ridiculous.
One thing that binds us together as human beings is that we all get 24 hours in each day. The only thing that separates us as human beings are the decisions we make within those 24 hours.
Surely, there must be some benefit to learning the fine art of folding napkins nine ways for having a “spectacular presentation.” Have we lost our ability to truly judge what is important and meaningful?
Have “things” become more important than substance? Has doing the “right thing” become doing things right – according to whom? According to Martha?
There is so much insanity and so much excess. So much time and energy wasted on things of so little value. Have we become so shallow, vacuous, and superficial that we no longer care about valuing people and having substance, simple sustenance and satiety? Eliminate all artificial expectations.
Honor yourself.
Honor people you love with authenticity. .